This International Women’s Day, Tinder enlists the help of writer and podcaster, Honey Ross to ask the simple question ‘How to Date Me’ to Gen Z women. Singer songwriter, Mae Muller, actress and model, Nikkita Chadha and founder of platform, Girls Will Be Boys, Char Ellesse all share their experiences of dating; taking turns to reveal the do’s in dating that make them tick and the don’ts that give them the ick
With over 430 million downloads and 60+ billion matches to date, Tinder is in a unique position, as a platform used by women across the world, to use its voice to champion and empower women.
“Women are different and unique and so is dating them, which is why we turned to four strong and inspiring Gen Z women: Honey, Mae, Nikkita and Char. They’ve given their candid insights into dating - what they’ve learned and how they continue to challenge perceptions, as well as what gives them those dating ‘butterflies’. They reflect the emerging generation and how they ‘choose to challenge’ and we thank them for it.” says Renate Nyborg, Tinder’s General Manager, EMEA
In a self-shot film that can be watched here, three gen z women reveal the answers to one simple question: how to date me?
1. BE YOUR TRUE AUTHENTIC SELF.
When it comes to what Gen Z (18-25 year olds) are looking for in a partner or relationship, almost half (48%) admitted they’re looking for someone honest, authentic and truly themselves when with them.
“Be honest and show me your authentic self” says Nikkita. “I want the other person to see me as my true self and I think the same goes, vice versa. Don’t wear or do anything you normally wouldn’t just to ‘impress’ me - this is your time to just be you and have someone else fall in love with it.”
Char encourages her dates to show their true self through passion: “I want someone who’s passionate about what they care about. Someone who’s not afraid to say how they really feel and what they really feel about certain things.”
2. GET TO KNOW ME FOR ME.
With really getting to know a potential date an important factor, it might come as no surprise that women fall in love slower than men do. Almost half of Gen Z women (42%) reveal they fall in love within the first few months of meeting someone, compared to over a third of men (36%) who claim to fall in love within the first few weeks.
If I’m telling you a story and maybe opening up about something, then actually listen.” says Mae. “Don’t just make the conversation about you again the second I’ve finished talking. Listen and respond to what I’m telling you. It’s pretty basic really - just manners and respect.”
Char agrees, “I think the conversation should be equal parts, not one person talking too much about themselves. Ask me lots of questions.”
3. DATING SHOULD BE FUN.
“Be spontaneous...I love a surprise” admits Nikkita. But she’s not the only one:
“How to date me? Well… you need to be respectful, but I want someone who’s funny! And I personally, love to be spontaneous and I want someone who has a bit of spontaneity.” says Char.
Mae agrees “don’t take yourself too seriously. Dating is meant to be fun, okay? You’re not meant to go on a date and be bored so don’t take yourself too seriously and just have some fun with me.”
And they’re not alone. Gone are the days when good looks were the main criteria for picking a partner, as 1 in 5 (18%) 18-25 year olds say they’re looking for someone who can make them laugh, over someone who is polite (4%) or stands up for what they believe in (4%)***.
4. HYPE ME UP.
“Hype me up. Be my hype man! If I’ve come and I’ve made a little bit of an effort, - put a little bit of makeup on, done my hair - it's nice when you notice that. ‘You look nice. I see you.’ I like that! reveals Mae.
But don’t overlook who you are and what you want, warns Mae. “I used to prioritise the other person. You know, what shall I wear for them? What makeup should I wear for them? But actually, no. I’m going on a date for myself. So it’s more about whether I feel comfortable and are you right for me?
With ‘flirting’ mentions in Tinder bios up by 132% and ‘courting’ used 81% more this year than last, members are up for a bit of flirtation as they get to know one another****.
5. TREAT ME AS YOUR EQUAL
“I think it’s important when dating to understand that people are unique. People are so different, from different walks of life, different opinions, different journeys - you have to respect that you might not be the same” says Nikkita. “When it comes to paying, I think splitting is perfect; you’ve just met them, whoever they are, so why not just show equality”.
It also entails honesty -"if you’re not feeling it, you can cut it short respectfully” says Mae. “You’re respecting them because you’re not wasting their time and you’re respecting your own time as well".
There’s no one size fits all approach to dating, and whilst some wish to go dutch on a first date and others insist on taking it slow, what women are united in, is their want to be treated with kindness and as an equal.
As an inclusive platform, Tinder’s community guidelines are centered around encouraging and ensuring kindness and respect for all, always.
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NOTES TO EDITOR
*Survey conducted 30th April - 6th May 2020
**Survey conducted w/c 21st February 2021
*** Survey conducted 30th April - 6th May 2020
**** Bio data Feb 2021 vs. Feb 2020
